The Importance of Projectors Having the Correct People In Their Life
Human Design Projectors, are the people in your life correct for you?
The most important thing for generators to align with their life is what they’re doing and whether or not they have a sacral response for it.
The most important thing for projectors is WHO is in your life.
“[Projectors] If you don’t bring the right people into your life, everything goes wrong. Everything. No exceptions.”
Why is it crucial for human design projectors to have the correct people in their life?
The projector aura penetrates and absorbs the people around them, which means you will absorb and become not only your not-self but you'll take on parts of their not-self if they’re living from their not-self or they’re incorrect for you.
Other types aren’t as affected by the other, but for the projector, the other is everything.
As a fellow projector, nothing can throw me off more and lead me further away from myself than spending too much time with someone who is incorrect for me.
Because projectors are none energy types, we can have habits of holding our plug out and looking for sockets to give us the energy that’ll allow us to at least pretend we can keep up. Along with bits of recognition that at least momentarily make us feel like we’re enough in this generator world.
Not-self projector relationships
When we find a socket that allows us to plug in, we can hold on no matter what, thinking it’ll get better because we can fix them and prove that we can help them. And when we do that, they’ll finally see our worth and never leave.
Out of shame for how we’re being treated, we can exaggerate the good in our relationship(s) and avoid facing the bad because we think we have no choice but to accept those breadcrumbs or the inconsistencies or the control and/or abuse.
Convinced, we need this person; we need their energy, so how they treat us is how we deserve to be treated, not realizing we can establish the terms of how we’re treated.
Projectors are inherently magnetic beings that attract attention.
We are a commodity the other wants because we can actually see someone; we can see what they need and what they cannot see. The other not only wants us, they need us.
A secret from one projector to another is that when we send someone or something away because it doesn’t respect or see us, someone or something else that is correct will eventually come and replace it. And it’ll happen without you trying to manifest or trying to will it into existence. It’ll just find you. Projectors are low-key magnetic AF.
Waiting for and then recognizing who is correct for you
Projectors aren’t here to be alone; we naturally draw people toward us. The trick is being able to recognize if they are correct for you or not and letting go when you need to align you with what is correct.
All while getting comfortable with waiting so you don’t settle for second, third, or fourth best. Those things and those people that aren’t quite right but could potentially be “good enough”.
Projectors live in a different Maia from the other types. Success takes time. Finding and creating the correct relationships take time but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
“Success doesn’t happen overnight.”
Story Time:
I was talking to another projector this weekend who shared her experience dating men she wanted to “fix.”
Projectors are inherently here to recognize the potential and the uniqueness of the other. That pattern of “fixing” and “waiting it out” is such a common bitterness trap for projectors, especially when they don’t see their inherent worth. Thinking it’ll get better once they can fix/save/guide this other person (or job etc) to their potential and that they can wait for things to get better eventually.
However, what ends up happening is instead of the other person becoming who the projector would like them to be, the projector becomes more of their not-selves through absorbing the low self-worth and the self disdain from the other.
“Anyone in a projector’s life will likely seek out the projector’s guidance, but there’s a difference between those who see a projector’s worth and care about them and those who use the projector to their advantage and put them on the back burner when their fix is quenched. ”
This projector shared that one man, in particular, was in a low place in his life when they met. She tried to convince him of how great he was, what she thought he deserved, and who he could be.
When he eventually felt better about himself, he ended the relationship, and she suddenly began to feel the same way about herself that he did about himself. He left her much worse than he found her.
“One of the hardest things for a person to give up is the attention of a projector, especially a not-self individual who doesn’t love themselves because they know they can come to a projector and feel special, worthy, seen, and loved no matter what (if you allow them). A projector can fill the cup that needs to be filled that they haven’t spent the time learning to fill themselves.”
When that man needed another pick-me-up, he came back, and she felt chosen and so glad she had waited for him to come back - convinced it meant their connection was indeed special to him like it was to her. He must see her potential just like she sees his.
Only once he felt better through her attention and admiration, which boosted his ego, he left again, saying he wasn’t ready for something serious. And then she felt even worse.
Does that sound familiar to any other projectors? It certainly does for me. It’s a theme that has haunted me most of my life. People who don’t actually see me, who don’t actually value me, who are incorrect for me, yet I can make them feel good, so they breadcrumb me and circle back when it’s convenient for them.
Projectors, people will treat you however you allow them to treat you.
A tip I’ve learned since starting my human design experiment is that the correct people for you will see you without you having to do anything.
You won’t have to beg them to stay, treat you better, or see your worth. That may feel foreign if you’re used to back-bending, performing for, and earning love. But it is indeed what you deserve, and it is possible.
And the correct people for you sure as hell won’t leave you worse than they found you. They’ll care about your feelings; they’ll care about YOU.
Those people who breadcrumb you, who come and go as they please, who manipulate you into thinking you don’t deserve more or are too needy, simply aren’t correct for you and aren’t meant to be in your circle. And that is okay. It doesn’t even have to be personal. They can be a great person, you can be a great person, but together it can just not be right.
One of the hardest parts of deconditioning for me has been letting people go who don’t see and respect me, even if there were moments with them that felt good.
This doesn’t mean burn all the relationships down, shut the door and never open it (unless that’s what you need to do), but simply making space in your mind and aura for people who do see and respect you.
Building my IRL fractal
Shortly after moving to OKC, I was about a year into my human design experiment, and I had lost my only friend in the city whom I moved here for. I was in a new city/state where I hardly knew anyone. But I saw this as an opportunity to follow my strategy and authority and build a new fractal from scratch.
It was an experiment with a lot of trial and error, as 1/3s do. There were plenty of other people who came and left too, and people I discovered weren’t correct for me based on my emotional authority. But the ones who have stayed, who my emotional authority says yes to because they feel so good to my body and soul, have helped me love myself and see my worth even more.
And all of the people I let go of created room for me to not only find the correct people for me that have helped me discover more parts of myself to love, but letting go has allowed me to begin to see my worth, choose myself, and love myself even more.
The best part is I never had to go searching for my fractal, it wasn’t hard to find them. It took time, but I bumped into them one at a time, and the crazy thing is I recognized many of them the moment I saw them and put my aura into them.
Two of my friends I met here, the first moment we saw each other, we walked up to one another and said, “do I know you? I feel like I know you.” Another friend was my spiritual counselor for over a year and a half, and shortly after meeting, I had a dream I was visiting her in Colorado, where she had a pet white tiger and killer whale in a swimming pool. When I told her about my dream, she shared that she used to live in Colorado (I did too), and those two animals were actually her two animal spirit guides. I’ve found the people who are meant to stand out do one way or another. That’s how you recognize them.
Benefits of having the correct relationships in my life
I have developed friendships that have helped me see what healthy relationships look and feel like and how safe and stable they can be. What it feels like to be heard and valued. I’ve been able to use those friendships to navigate all relationships in my life based on how they feel. Do I feel anxious, nervous, and breadcrumbed? Or do I feel safe to always be me without fear?
And the best part was I didn’t have to do anything but be myself to find my fractal. They’re people I randomly met who live at my apartment complex or who I ran into at a yoga studio or bumped into at spiritual ceremonies. Events and places I went to that I was invited to. It was all organic, and I didn’t have to chase or force anything.
Strategy and authority aligns you with your life and your fractal. And the correct fractal will help support and build you up and meet new pieces of yourself you can lovingly discover.
And they will care enough to leave you better than they found you, not worse.
